I admit it. I don’t want to, but I admit it. I get angry. Some days I get so angry I want to scream. My son has ADD and he does not seem to make the best choices and he has trouble controlling his impulses. This usually gets him in trouble and leads to me getting angry. Most moms do not like to admit they get angry. I am one of them. Admitting I get so angry I need to walk away feels like I am admitting I am a bad mom. But there are times every mom feels overwhelmed and out of control. What can you do to make sure you do not get to that stage? Here are some helpful hints to help you regain yourself and manage anger.
Walk away. This sounds simple enough yet when we are embroiled in a battle of wills with our child we do not want to seem weak. Walking away may be what you need for calming down and thinking about the situation.
Do not argue with your kids. I can see moms rolling their eyes but it works. My mom was the master of not getting caught up in arguing. Her answer was final, her resolve was steel and she would say, end of discussion and we knew no amount of arguing was going to sway her so we didn’t argue. Getting rid of arguing is one of the best ways for handling anger I know of.
Recognize your triggers. I know what my triggers are. When I start to clench my teeth that is when I walk away because I know what comes after that and it is usually not a pretty sight. Everyone is much better off when I recognize my limits and take time to calm down.
Take time for yourself. Try to schedule a few minutes a day for meditation, exercise, communing with God or nature, listening to music, reading a good book or an extra long shower. Taking time for yourself endures that your batteries are recharged. Recharged batteries lead to better communication, more patience and the ability to handle anger better.
Have a support system in place. I have a great support system. My mom raised my brother who is an awful lot like my son. It is wonderful that I can vent to someone who has lived it and knows what I am going through. A support system helps me manage my anger and vent when I have had enough or when I need a break to recharge.
Ask for help. This one seems to be a tough one for moms. We do not want to admit we are not super moms and therefore need help. It is amazing though what help does. I am going back to school full time as well as being a stay at home mom. I started asking for help and telling the family that we all need to help out because I could not do it alone. Families are for helping one another and they get it now. Instead of getting angry because my husband does not put away his laundry or getting angry and putting it away myself, I simply ask him to put it away and he does. Asking for help leads to feeling more appreciated and less stressed and overwhelmed which makes a happier family.
Laugh. This is a big one. It is amazing how the power of laughter melts the stress away. I usually like to watch Gabriel Iglesias, aka the Fluffy Guy. One hour of nonstop laughing puts me in a much better frame of mind.