In Remembrance of All Those Lost on 9/11

In Remembrance of September 11th

9/11 – The Day that Brought Our Nation to Its Knees – If Only for a Moment

I thought about going through the day today without mention of 9/11, but I just couldn’t do it. For the past 10 years, I’ve approached September with apprehension. I know what I’m going to feel and though I dread it, I’m oddly content with the fact that I still feel the pain. It means that I haven’t lost my humanity.

My Memories of 9/11

My mother and I had been in New York during two days before to get my nieces and bring them back with us while my sister packed up her things for the move home. Although our flight left on the night of the 10th to fly back home, no one knew my flight schedule but me, my mother, my sister and my grandmother. No one else knew if I was on one of those planes that morning. They just knew I was due home that morning.

My boyfriend was at work and 160 ft. in the air when his boss, Terry, radioed for him to come down immediately. He knew I was in New York and that I was due home that day. Today, the now father of my child breaks down and cries when September 11th rolls around. He thought he’d never see me again. My father, not one to show much emotion, also feared the worst.

My plane flew into Lambert Airport at 12:38 am on 9/11 and I was home in my bed by 1:45 am that morning. I was scheduled to work on 9/11 at 10 am, but I had told my supervisors that I may have to call off if things changed while I was in New York, so even they weren’t sure about me until I walked through the door to clock in. I woke up late at 8:15 and rushed into the shower. I had left my television on the night before. When I walked into the living room, I saw the screen. The first plane had hit and they were speculating that it was a small private plane. Then I watched in shock as a second plane flew into the other tower. That moment made it very clear that we were under attack. I called my mom and grandmother to tell them to turn on the television, that something horrible had happened and that I would call them later. I tried to call my dad, but his line was busy. I didn’t call my boyfriend because I knew he was working and not in his hotel room. I hurriedly threw myself together and rushed off to work.

Every single year, I think back to coming home from work that day and listening to my answering machine. The messages from my father, my boyfriend and my friends; listening to the fear in their voices as they begged me to pick up the phone. Coming home to hear those messages was heartbreaking because I felt horrible that they were worried about me, but I also felt the despair because I knew I was hearing what so many others were experiencing. In that moment, I understood what so many people were feeling when they tried desperately to get in touch with a loved one that was in the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, or someone on one of those four fateful flights. I remember leaning against the wall and just slowly sliding down it until I was sitting in the floor, balling my eyes out.

9-11 Memorial

Why I Want to Remember September 11th

September 11th is a day that millions of us will dwell on for eternity. Whether it’s the memories of a loved one lost that day, remembering the fear that gripped our nation or the anger of the act itself, the date affects us all. I think it made us realize that even a Super Power is vulnerable. Though we weren’t accustomed to that feeling, I think it is important to remember what those feelings caused.

Think about our nation before September 11, 2001. We still had tragedy, hurt and heartache. There were instances of death and destruction, but on a much smaller scale. Before 2001, I had witnessed the acts of Good Samaritans before and had even taken part in these acts myself. Yet, never in my entire life have I witnessed an nation pull together so quickly to mourn and support each other until the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks on our country. As tragic as this was for our nation, it made us more aware. It also brought us together and forced us to realize the things that were really, truly important.

Today, I ask that you please take 3 minutes of silence to recognize and honor those lost in the attacks on our nation, not only on September 11th, but the days following. I also encourage you to take a moment to tell the people you care about just how much you care about them. Give them a hug, hold them tight and be thankful that you have them. There are a lot of people wishing that their loved ones were still here to hug.

 

Featured image photo credit: Micky** via photo pin cc

Image 2 photo credit: Barry Yanowitz via photo pin cc

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

Keeping Your Sanity

Keeping your SanityBeing a mom is tough. If you stay at home, working women question your actions. If you work, a stay at home mom will wonder why. There is no way to really win as a woman with children. I feel that the first thing women need to do is realize that what is right for them may not be right for another woman. Stop judging and stop feeling guilty about your choices. Personally, I stay at home with my kids. I have questioned myself over this time and again, but it was the best choice for my family and I am happy that I chose to do it. One of the issues that I have had as a stay at home mom is losing “my” identity. Here are a few things that have helped me keep my sanity over the years.

1. Watch a Movie: go to the movies by yourself or with a girlfriend or simply rent a movie to watch at home – yes, one that you want to watch!  This is a wonderful way to relax and take some time for yourself to regroup.
2. Hobbies: find a hobby that does not involve your children. This could be taking an art class, exercising, writing, or photography. Just choose to do something that you enjoy without your children around.
3. Read a Book: take the time to sit down and read. Even if it is only for fifteen minutes, reading will give you a nice little escape.
4. Make a play date: a play date offers you time to talk to your friend while your child gets to play with someone as well. Trading play date times is a great way to be able to get things accomplished without your children around as well.
5. Have a spa day: Take the time to get a massage or go to the spa. If this isn’t in your budget, take a bubble bath and light some candles.

The most important thing to remember is that in order to be a good mom, you need to take care of yourself. We often forget to take the time out for ourselves that we really need. Even if you are not staying home with your children all day, you still need a break from them from time to time as work doesn’t count. There are times when I have put myself in time out. I simply tell my kids that I need a time out and go to my room and sit for a few minutes and take a breather. Being a mom is hard and we need to remember that just like anyone we sometimes need a break from our regular mom duties.

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

Planning Our Fun and Frugal Babymoon

When I was pregnant with my twins, my husband and I wanted to spend some special time together before our little family of three turned into a family of five. We decided to take a small getaway before the babies arrived, often called a “babymoon.” Since my hubby had a 3-day weekend off work over President’s Day, we decided that would be the perfect time to spend a couple days in Chicago. We booked a babysitter (my mama) for our three year old and started to come up with babymoon ideas.

The first criterion of our trip was that it be cheap. We were busy buying baby gear, paying for doctors visits and facing all the costs that would come along with two new babies. Fortunately, I had saved a few hundred dollars for just this occasion. A cheap babymoon starts with a great hotel deal, so I booked two nights at the best hotel offering the cheapest rate with the best location on Travelzoo.

I was excited to learn that we would be in Chicago during Restaurant Week, when fancy places around the city would be offering meals at a dramatic discount. I booked reservations at two restaurants we’d been wanting to visit: a Brazilian steakhouse and a romantic little fondue place. Both offered heaps of food, which was perfect for a pregnant gal! Our hotel deal included a $25 gift card to a nearby restaurant, so the cost of one lunch was covered.

We didn’t plan much for shopping or activities. We simply wanted to have a relaxing time together (soon, we wouldn’t be able to hear each other talk for a while!). I was mainly focused on the food! We did, however, have to do a little bit of baby shopping. There was a Marshall’s across the street from our hotel, where we picked up some pink onesies and socks. We went to a movie, a relatively cheap activity, and visited the Field Museum of Natural History.


Another concern for us when planning a babymoon was my limited ability for physical activity. At 27 weeks pregnant with twins, I was the same size as a single 40-week pregnancy and wasn’t supposed to stay on my feet for very long (not that I wanted to or could anyway!). We live just two hours from the city, so the drive wasn’t bad. Once we were there, we took taxis where we needed to go, which hurt my frugal self, who always takes public transit around the city. At the museum, we requested a wheelchair for me, and my sweet hubby pushed me all around the exhibits.

Our babymoon ended up being a fun and much-needed getaway for the two of us. Just three weeks later, I was placed on bed rest, so I’m glad we took it when we did!

Have you ever taken a babymoon?

 

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

Moms Living Thrifty – 30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 09

Wow, I’m getting a late start today – sorry! Today’s post is going to be interesting for me because I still have no idea what I’m going to write. I’m torn, but let’s get on with it.

The blog challenge post for today is:

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

 

When I was a young child, my mind raced with different futures. I wanted to be a ballerina because I loved to dance and because ballerinas looked so very delicate and perfect. I wanted to be a cowgirl because I loved horses…and cowgirl boots.

By grade school, I wanted to be a singer because I loved to sing, was in the choir and thought it would be cool to be famous. I wanted to be a doctor because I wanted to be able to heal the ill and save lives. I wanted to be a veterinarian because I loved animals and was already constantly helping them anyway.

By middle school, I wanted to be a lawyer because I wanted to put criminals behind bars…plus I loved to argue and was really good at it, too! Of course, middle school spawned another passion in me with writing. I had always buried myself in books, reading as many as three a week on a regular basis. However, when my Honors English class required writing, I discovered a talent that I didn’t know I had. My best writing was realized in dark and macabre tales that my mine easily churned out.

By high school, I was even more convinced that I wanted to be a writer and give Stephen King, Anne Rice and Dean Koontz a run for their money. I also pondered opening a bar or restaurant simply because I loved to entertain.


By college, I thought about being a nurse or a real estate guru because I knew that any career in the arts was often accompanied by a “starving” period, but I ended up reverting back to that middle school – high school love affair with writing anyway. But what was the one job that I had truly longed for?

Well,  if you’ve read any of my posts for this challenge thus far, you probably know the answer to that. For those of you that are new to my rants, what I really wanted to be was a mom,, but I didn’t get to feel that excitement, enjoyment and  absolutely fulfilling feeling until five days before my 31st birthday when my son was born. I was ecstatic the day I found out I was pregnant, but the day he was born had to be the happiest moment of my entire life.

Obviously, I chose writing as a career in conjunction with motherhood, but trust me, it’s entirely secondary.  My writing career doesn’t come anywhere close to trumping the careers of my favorite authors. In fact, the dark tales that I used to write so fabulously about are now little more than memories since this shining star entered my life. However, I do plan to test myself over the next year to see if I still have the capability to develop a compelling horror story. Who knows? Maybe I’ll surprise myself…and maybe, just maybe, I’ll surprise the world.

What is your dream job? Have you achieved it?

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

Moms Living Thrifty – 30 Day Blog Challenge – Day 06

Okay all, today I’m giving myself a pat on the back. Why? Well, I’ve made it to my sixth straight day of this blog challenge and I’m feeling pretty darn good about it. It’s been a while since I’ve done something fun like this…and I know you all probably think I’m lame, but for me this is fun.

 

So let’s get on with it!

 

Today’s post is about:

 

Your Zodiac Sign and If You Think It Fits You

 

My zodiac sign is Pisces – two fish, swimming in opposite directions. Each sign is associated with one of the four elements: Earth, Wind, Air or Water. Pisces is a water sign. My grandmother, an Aquarius (air sign), always joked that people shouldn’t mess with the two of us when we’re angry  because they would be messing with a hurricane.  I always thought that was funny…I still do! Boy, my grandma is a firecracker, but that’s a different story.

Here’s what Astrology-Insight.com has to say about Pisces:


Pisces Positive Traits

Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic.

Pisces tend to be artistic by nature, they are typically very kind and sympathetic toward others. They seem to be very intuitive, adjust to circumstances and are receptive to new thinking.

Pisces Negative Traits

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led.

Pisces may tend to be impractical, somewhat vague and careless. They can be spiteful, greedy and downright immoral. Occasionally they can appear confused and weak of will allowing them to be easily led astray.

I think that most of this is true, or was at certain points in my life, but let’s analyze it for the sake of analyzing. Here we go…

Evaluating the Positive

  • Imaginative – True. I’m very imaginative and always have been. In fact, when I was in seventh grade, I wrote a story for the Young Authors Competition. The story revolved around a child who had been abused and this child sought revenge against her abuser. It was so detailed and so very realistic, that my teacher actually pulled me aside and asked if I was okay and assured me that I could speak to a counselor if I was having problems at home. My story ended up winning second place statewide. My friend won first place. That was a good year!
  • Sensitive – True and false. My sensitivity runs only so far. I’ve been through a lot in my life, so it’s not as easy to hurt me as it once was. Yes, words do still hurt, but I’m usually able to suck it up and move on. Children are my weakness. My family, my friends, stories about children being abused or murdered, stories associated with mass casualties – those define my sensitive spots. September 11th, for instance, is a sensitive subject for me.
  • Compassionate – True. I’m very compassionate and understanding when the need calls for it. Unfortunately, my compassion and understanding often cause me to get screwed over. That’s life and I’m learning.
  • Kind – True. There is very little that I won’t do for a friend or family member in need. I’ve extended that same kindness to strangers on many occasions. Random acts of kindness are my favorite. Anonymous random acts of kindness are even better. Sure, it feels good to be recognized every once and a while for doing something good, but sometimes it’s just nice to give others hope and make little miracles happen.
  • Selfless – True in most cases. As a mother, selflessness is important. I have adapted accordingly. My son and stepdaughter come before me at all times. Would I like a night out every once in a while? Sure! How often do I actually go out? Once every few months.  The bottom line? I would gladly put myself in harm’s way to protect my kids, or any other child for that matter. I’m also a big believer and supporter of the Pay It Forward Movement. Also, see kindness.
  • Unworldly – True to some degree. My life does not revolve around material goods, but I do have a few guilty pleasures. I’m also not a big fan of mass media, which is probably surprising since I’m a writer. I just don’t follow the trends and never really have. I’m a big hippie at heart. If this technological/materialistic world ever comes to a screeching halt, I’d be just as happy to live off the land. I honestly think that the world would be a better place if we didn’t have to have “more” and “better”. I’m working on that as I raise my kids. I hope others are too.
  • Intuitive – True. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told, “You totally predicted that,” or “You had him/her pegged,” or “How did you know that?” The weird thing is that I often get a tingly feeling when something isn’t right and a warm feeling when I know that someone is being genuine. What can I say? It’s a gift, and I’m thankful for it.
  • Sympathetic – True. I’m very sympathetic to others’ needs and feelings. However, as mentioned above, my sympathy, compassion and kindness often cause me to get screwed over, so I’ve been trying to keep a more watchful eye.
  • Creative – True. I’m a writer and an entrepreneur. Without creativity, I’d be pretty darn boring and very, very poor. Besides, my son and stepdaughter think  my creativity is awesome!
  • Adjust to circumstances – True. I adjust quickly and learn quickly. Heck, I can adapt as quickly as a menopausal woman changes moods!
  • Receptive to new thinking – It depends. I’ll listen, I’ll try it and we’ll go from there.
Evaluating the Negative
  • Escapist – True. My creativity and writing career began entirely due to escapism. I don’t like to think about the bad things that have happened in my life, but in a way, that makes it harder to overcome them. I seem resilient on the outside, but inside I’m a time
  • Idealistic – False. Although I do have ideals, I’m not living an idealistic life. I’m very down to earth and conscious of what is real and what is not…but I do daydream!
  • Secretive – True and False. I can be when I need to be.
  • Vague – True and False. See above. However, when I’m tired or frustrated, I tend to be vague with certain people as well.
  • Weak-willed – False. I’m actually very strong-willed, which causes me to butt heads with others from time to time.
  • Easily led – True and False. If I love you and want to believe you, I can be led on for a short period of time. If I don’t know you, you have a very slim chance of leading me.
  • Impractical – False.
  • Careless – True in the past, false now. Since I’ve become a mother, I’m rarely careless. I lived on the edge enough before I had kids to be thankful that I lived to have them.
  • Spiteful – True. I can be terribly spiteful when I’m hurt or angry.
  • Greedy – False. I’m very generous, frequently helping out monetarily, with time, goods or effort.
  • Downright immoral – True in my past, false now. There were several times in my past where I could have been considered downright immoral, but for the past 7-8 years, I’ve been almost as good as gold and plan to stay that way.
  • Appear confused – Only in the morning!

Well, now you know about me. Does your sign fit you?
 

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

Mother’s Spirituality: Incorporating Prayer Into Daily Tasks

Raising children and nourishing your own spirituality may seem like diametrically opposed goals. It’s not a new problem either. Women of faith have been complaining to their spiritual leaders for millennia: “I just can’t find time to pray!”

On the one hand, there’s something true about that reality that you just can’t fight. Instead of bemoaning it, there is a deep wisdom in accepting that fact for this season of your life, and trusting others in your spiritual community to be praying for you in this time. Young motherhood simply isn’t the time of life best suited for spiritual retreats of solitude up in the mountains!

On the other hand, instead of giving up on prayer altogether, have you considered ways you might be able to pray as you go? No, you may not be able to set aside time every single day for prayer and solitude—especially after you’ve crossed the two children threshold—but that doesn’t mean you cannot pray. Here are a few ideas for you.

1) Write a verse of scripture or an inspiring quotation on your bedroom or bathroom mirror. Meditate on it, let it sink deeply into your spirit as you brush your teeth or wash your hands. A variation on this theme is to write your prayer request list on your mirror so that you can be praying for family and friends as you clean the bathroom or brush your hair.

2) Learn a few “breath prayers.” Breath prayers are designed to coincide with your breath. One well-known Christian breath prayer is: “Lord Jesus Christ”—(which you say as you breathe in), “have mercy on me”—(which you say as you breathe out). You could find a prayer from your own tradition that works with this pattern, or you could write your own.


Breath prayers are great for saying (or thinking) while you are performing some fairly mindless chore: while you wash dishes, hang laundry, drive, or as you sit with your child as she falls asleep.

3) Peditation: You’ve heard of meditation, but have you heard of peditation? Peditation combines meditation with walking. If you have ever walked a prayer labyrinth, you have been introduced to peditation. This practice is similar to the breath prayer, except your prayer or meditation coincides with your footsteps instead of your breathing. Try it when you’re walking the dog or grocery shopping. This is a great practice to help you remember that you are more than just a body or just a mind or just a mom! You are a human being—body, mind, and spirit altogether—and each part of you needs loving care.

At first glance, maybe moms are too busy to pray. Or maybe, in reality, prayer just needs the opportunity to break out of the boxes we have put it in. When we let prayer lose, it can set us free.

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

Squeezing in a Little “Me Time”

Among changing diapers, cooking dinners and healing boo-boos, we moms often lose sight of one of our most important jobs – taking care of ourselves! I usually either feel like I don’t have the time or guilty for taking time away from my family to indulge. I have to remind myself, however, that taking a little time to put myself first improves my physical and mental health and ultimately make me a better parent and wife. Picture those oxygen masks in airplanes. If you can’t breathe, you can’t help others. Similarly, if we don’t replenish ourselves every once in a while, we can’t effectively care for our families. Self care is not selfish!

I once saw a comedian dad joke that his idea of a vacation was the time he spent walking around the car to his seat after getting the kids loaded. I can totally relate. Making time is hard. So how do we find this “me time?” WHERE IS IT? Here are few strategies I’ve discovered on my quest for personal renewal (or just a little peace and quiet):

Go shopping alone. Getting groceries wouldn’t normally seem like a treat. When I can go sans children, though, walking the aisles feels like a refreshing break from chaos. Plus, focusing on one task for a while is good for the brain.

Get connected. Social networking can get a bit of a bad rap these days, but for a busy mom like me, it’s often the only connection to friends I get in a day. A quick walk through Facebook or my favorite message boards during naptime makes me feel like part of the world again.

Get a hobby. I love to learn new things, and tackling a hobby can stimulate my brain much more than “goo-goo’s” and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. It could be learning to cook, sew or speak a new language. Currently, I’m trying to learn Photoshop after bedtime. I have a dream of one day taking a one-night-a-week art class when the babies get a little older.

Go outside. I’ve found that taking a walk to the park is very refreshing for me, even with the kids. I stick my twins in the stroller, and sometimes they fall asleep on the way. My three-year-old can independently play at the playground, and Mama can enjoy the fresh air.

Drive somewhere. Anywhere. Sometimes, when I really need a mental break, I put the kids in the car and take off. I’m not destined for any particular place, but driving tends to keep the kids quite while I can crank the music and let my mind wander for a while. Ahhh.

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

Summer Family Fun: Sprinklers and Tea Parties

My three year old daughter and I have been enjoying our summer evenings together this season. This is my first summer as a mother, and it is even more fun that I had imagined. Our little girl loves summer, and that helps me through the really hot days. She loves nothing more than to throw on her bathing suit and find the nearest source of cold water.

Early on in the summer, we didn’t have a kiddie pool, so we decided to improvise one really hot day. We took a large, plastic tub and filled it with water from the hose. We let it sit in the sun for a few hours, and I even added a teapot full of boiling water so it wouldn’t be so ice cold. Then my husband and my daughter climbed in. They were hilarious to watch. He was more affected by the cold than she was, and she delighted in dumping buckets of cold water on his head. He also looked really funny all scrunched up in the tub.

On a more daily basis, our regular garden watering ritual now doubles as a time to hose down our little girl with the sprinkler. She shrieks and laughs when I unexpectedly divert the water from the tomatoes to her. She runs all over the yard trying to get away from me and then intentionally running into the direct path of the hose.

A few weeks ago on a particularly hot day, I decided to try out the sprinkler for myself. As I sprayed down the garden, I suddenly realized just how hot I was even at 8:30 at night, and without a second thought, I directed the hose directly above me and let the spray rain down and cool me off. My little one thought that was even funnier than me spraying her. She was delighted, and I was refreshed.

More recently we have been enjoying some very mild August days. To celebrate these wonderful evenings, my little girl and I have been having some picnic tea parties. It all started when a good friend dropped by bearing gifts of tea: honeybush and “calm.” Both of these are caffeine free, and therefore kid-friendly.

After I put the water on to boil, my little one helps me scoop tea into the infuser, and then I pour the tea into a little tea pot to let it steep. Meanwhile, we stir in the honey, pack our picnic basket with some mugs and occasionally a little treat, and then we carefully make our way out to the back yard. I pour our tea, and while it cools, my little one enjoys her new sand box.

This new ritual has served the dual purpose of spending quality time with my daughter and also creating a little space for self-care. I love to sip my tea and enjoy looking at my garden—especially our gargantuan, volunteer sunflower, which is now about twelve feet tall and boasts five blooms.

Summer fun and mommy time have coincided at our house lately, and the added bonus is that all of this fun has been free.

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

Taking Stock: Ingredients for a Happy Mom

What is the one thing you cannot do without? I don’t mean life’s essentials: food, water, loving relationships. I’m talking about that essential ingredient in a day that helps ensure that you will be the happy, relaxed version of yourself instead of the cranky, irritable version of yourself? Do you know it? Has anything come to mind? Mother, know thyself!

It was only recently that I discovered what my essential ingredient for a happy day is:  It is solitude. On the 4th of July this year, we had a fabulous day planned with our closest family and friends. We went to two separate, fabulous cook-outs. It was nice out. I didn’t have to work. What was there not to like? Yet, despite all of these great ingredients, I had a really awful day. My little girl was driving me crazy; I had no patience for her. I was crabby to my husband. And, I couldn’t really enjoy the wonderful opportunity I had to hang out with my sisters and my two best friends. What in the world was wrong with me?

As I lay in bed that night reflecting, my temptation was to beat myself up emotionally: “Wow, you can’t be content no matter what! What’s wrong with you? You have serious issues.” But, instead, I took a step back, and I asked myself what had been missing. Why did I feel so irritable the whole day? It was because it was a day full of people and mothering with no break. I hadn’t had any “me time”. Now, under most conditions, time spent with my sisters and best friends is a kind of “me time”, but not when I haven’t had any time all to myself.

It doesn’t take much—unless I’ve done without it for too long—but I do require a minimum amount of solitude each day. I need some time to center, to pray, to remember that I am loved and loveable—even before I accomplish a thing! That’s my essential ingredient—solitude.


Do you have an essential ingredient for a happy day? I have thought up a few tips for helping others gain this fabulous piece of self-knowledge. I hope they will be helpful for you!

  • Experience: It may require a few years of experience under your belt to discover your essential ingredient. I didn’t know too much about myself right out of college. It also may change with the changing seasons of your life.
  • Experimentation: If you don’t know what you need, plan some experiments and then intentionally reflect on them. Plan some time with friends and some time alone. Try a date night or a girl’s night out. Make some space to pamper yourself before bed and after the kids are asleep. Try listening to your favorite music or dancing or hiking or reading. Try things that you can easily incorporate into your life. If your essential ingredient for a happy day includes being on a tropical island, you may have some trouble achieving that!
  • If self-reflection is a challenge for you, that’s OK; you may just need to find the right avenue for reflection. Do you prefer to process out loud or in your head? Do you need to bounce ideas off of people or write them down?
  • Whatever reflection method you choose, here’s an exercise for you: Compare two very different but equally bad experiences you’ve had with your family when you were irritable. Are there common threads? Next try comparing two different but equally good times you’ve had with your family when nothing could get you down. Again, look for commonalities. What was it that put you in such a good frame of mind?

Good luck to you as you seek this hidden treasure—the ingredients that enable you be the you that you love to be!

This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. In most cases, products are provided to Moms Living Thrifty for review. All product reviews are written according to the writer's honest opinion, experience or beliefs. Your opinion may vary. To see more on our disclosure policy, please visit our Disclosure page

What Went Right: Reflections on a Great Family Vacation

The last week in July, my family and I joined my extended family on a trip to Colorado. Those present were: my mom, my dad, my two sisters and their husbands, my baby niece, and two family pets. I know this style of vacation is not for everybody, but for us, it was a dream come true!

A few years ago, my sisters and I broke the news to my mom: “Mom, we really don’t need all these Christmas presents anymore; we’re all grown up!” But Mom would not hear of it; saving up lots of money for Christmas gifts is a family tradition, in her mind. So, my ingenious husband thought up a compromise: What if my parents saved their Christmas fund and every other year it could be used to contribute to a big family vacation?! Everyone was on board.

This year’s trip to Colorado was the first big trip like this that we have done. There were several factors that made it idyllic; here are just a few of them:

  • We had a cabin way up on a mountain. Not everyone was thrilled with the bumpy ride up and down the mountainside or the 25 minute drive to town, but I loved it! With no cell phone access and nowhere to escape to, we simply enjoyed each other’s company and the beauty of the pine woods all around us.
  • The weather was fantastic. I have lived my whole life in the mid-west, so I had never really dreamed that there were places that weren’t humid in July. Our cabin didn’t have air conditioning, and it didn’t need it! Every day we lived with all the doors and windows open, and no one ever broke a sweat. This one-week reprieve from the record-setting high temperatures we’re having this summer was a sweet relief.

  • Having so many beloved adults around was an incredible gift to my three-year-old daughter and to my husband and I. Our little one requires a lot of attention; so vacation has not seemed very vacation-y as of late. Not until Colorado, that is; the aunts, uncles, grandma, and grandpa were more than happy to take turns entertaining her!
  • This leads me to my next item: solitude. I am a creature of solitude. I need it just about as much as I need good sleep and food. As you know, solitude can be hard to come by for the working mom (or any mom). Having lots of babysitters on hand all the time meant that I could slip out on to the front porch, smell the pine trees, and soak in the absolute stillness of the mountainside. My soul was renewed.
  • And, last but not least, one big contributing factor to the great vacation we just had was the Family Variety Show. On the last night of vacation, we staged a show. Everyone contributed (except for my baby niece and my dog).  There was a little bit of everything—stand-up comedy, vocal solos, duets, quartets, dramatic readings, and excerpts from my daughter’s music program. It was hilarious, and we had so much fun entertaining each other.

I hope some of these ideas will be inspiring to you. I wish you many happy vacations to come!

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